Toys.

No one's perfect nor innocent so I have no shame in writing this.
Having a friend with certain privileges is never easy unless you carelessly enjoy sleeping around. I never thought it was simple and I find myself in this situation. I find myself wondering if this will ever go somewhere or if one of us will just find someone new and call it quits.
A part of me says, "Leave," while the other says, "Stay. How often do you run into someone like him and shares that much passion for music?" He is my friend and little more.
However, I have to admit.. I enjoy being untitled to any sort of commitment. I'm not one who enjoys having two different partners so, of course, they have nothing to worry about, which leaves me to be the one worried.
I can't point fingers toward anyone because I placed myself in this position. Correct?
..maybe.
Because so-and-so and I are "buddies", I have to constantly remind myself not to put my heart out there.

I feel like I'm trying to catch something I know can never be caught. In fact, I'm unaware of all the reasons why I should be chasing after him in the first place. His heart is flying forward in front of me chasing after dreams and I've become restless.

On a brighter note, besides babysitting, work and school is starting to pick up again, which will definitely keep me occupied. :]
I need to keep myself active again. It's been a while!
Class is starting tomorrow and I'm excited! Tomorrow I'm taking a Japanese martial arts class called Naginata, which requires a spear. Afterward, beach volleyball.
I can't wait to get back in shape!